EVEN THE GODS ARE LONELY

WOMEN DO NOT OFTEN DEVELOP THEIR SHARINGAN. Outsiders say it is because of the superiority of men over women, but the truth is that the women do not necessarily find themselves in the situation where it calls for it. The women of The Clan are emotionally more stable than the men, more prepared to endure the psychological pain ready to attack them. And there are also rumors that it simply depends on the heritage, but Uchiha Tatsume—Tatara's dearest mother—does not have the Sharingan despite having one of the undiluted Uchiha blood in The Clan, and having the, arguably, one of the most unstable mental health. There is also Uchiha Mikoto who has the Sharingan, Uchiha Hotaru who is not even of pure Uchiha blood but finds herself with the Sharingan. At the end, it is a matter of chance. Of fate. Of destiny. Tatara does not know. But what she does know is that despite her talents, she was never pressured to have the Sharingan, and she has long accepted that.

Maybe a younger Tatara would have been bitter, considering that just because of the reproductive organs she was born with meant that she will have a lower chance of gaining the Sharingan, but the seven-year-old Tatara does not complain. Takobu had sat her down to talk about it once, how she does not need the Sharingan in order to become strong, and then promptly listed powerful and know Uchiha, both men and women, who did not need the Sharingan in order to stand above others. And maybe, she really does not need the Sharingan.

This is not the first time Tatara has witnessed death, nor is this her first kill. (Death is someone she is close to. She has already attended countless of funerals from countless of relatives, has already cried over too many urns, and she doubts it will stop like that. Her first kill happens before she becomes Genin and it is only natural. She does not remember shaking, nor does she remember being fearful of the life she is going to take. No. She is dragged into the shallow areas of the war, and she is five years old. She brings death to a dying shinobi of a village she does not even bother knowing. What she does remember is Takobu giving her a nod, a hand on her head, and how he had been the one to personally wash her hands. She did not feel fear. She felt satisfaction, and Takobu said she did not have to feel anything. They are, after all, shinobi. She is not guilty.) This is not the first battle she fought in. There is nothing about this situation that gives her a first experience.

But there is something wrong with this scene. Fugaku-sensei is fending off one of the higher-ranking enemies that are not meant to be here. (The mission ordered them to deliver a message. That is what they are supposed to do, and yet—) Koichi is struggling against a shinobi certainly stronger than him, and Tekka is leaning on the wall, panting heavily, and red eyes spinning. His depleting chakra is evident, and he is already struggling to stand. But they know that they can survive this. Fugaku-sensei is strong. Tatara trusts Fugaku with her life, not just as her Jounin Instructor but also as her Clan Head. So she knows they are going to survive whole. She knows they will get out of this situation despite everything that is happening.

But—

There is always a 'but'.

Tatara is about to cut open a man with her tantou until a woman grabs her enemy away from her. The first thing she notices is the slow movement of the woman—tch, two enemies at once but something she can probably handle. She has a fair amount of chakra left in her system, and if she can only free her hand from using her tantou, she can make a genjutsu elaborate enough to finish the battle. The second thing she notices is the roundness of the woman's stomach, and this time, she hesitates. She freezes, and she looks at the woman in confusion. Because why is there a pregnant woman in the battlefield?

Everything happens fast right after that revelation. Pregnant women have fluctuating chakra levels because not only are they carrying another body which absorbs chakra from their own, but also because of their difficulty in chakra control when pregnant. There are skillful kunoichi who engage into battle despite their status; Tatara is a battlefield baby because Uchiha Tatsume has always been stubborn. She never wanted a child, but she still needed one in order to please her beloved husband, the man she loved the most, and Uchiha Tadoku never wanted anything more than a child. But despite Tatsume's obvious love for Tadoku, she loved being in the battlefield more. Eight months in pregnancy, Tatsume was still fighting, and nobody was surprised when she gave birth in the battlefield, with her premature child being tended to by frantic healers. People like Tatsume were still allowed to go to the battlefield because of their impressive chakra control, and their skill in battle. She was a Jounin when she gave birth, and so the village trusted her despite everything.

And This woman kind of looks like her mother.

The pregnant woman is tall, pale, and slender despite the roundness of her stomach—something that is common in the Land of Water, specifically in Kirigakure. Maybe if they are outside and not surrounded by the darkness of this cave, then the woman will not have the depth of Tatsume's eyes, and the ebony of her hair. Maybe, just maybe. Maybe it is the bloodloss talking to Tatara, or maybe the lack of light is finally getting to her, but for a moment, Tatara sees Tatsume mirroring the pregnant woman—stubborn and still fighting, pregnant yet not motherly. Tatara is fooled by the façade the woman is showing her. She does not like it. She finds herself furious.

(Anger has always been her number one enemy. Fugaku and Takobu already told her countless of times that she must control that anger of hers, and she tries. She does try her best to push this anger down, to not let her blood boil in fury. But she cannot do it easily. Takobu says she is just like her mother, too taken by their emotions, too angry, full of too much fury—breathe. All she has to do is breathe, and yet, this time, she cannot. Thinking of her mother, thinking of how this mere Kirigakure Chuunin resembles her morher—she does not like it.)

And she does not hesitate this time.

Tatara charges forward, strangely consumed with an anger that is not supposed to be present. The man who she was supposed to kill earlier clicks his tongue, pulling out his own tantou to block her attack. (She is angry, and she does not know why.) "Fuck," he cusses, "I thought you Konoha shinobi were supposed to be a bunch of merciful bastards. Guess we heard wrong—" And this makes Tatara even angrier because the moment she digs her blade even harder against the man's, she pulls her knee upward to hit his crotch. She flashes through handsigns out of instinct when the man lets go and falls down to his knees.

Burn. Burn. Burn. Burn. Burn. And so he burns.

Her eyes scans through the cave, and sees the pregnant woman glaring at her. And somehow, the gleam of a silvery ring reaches her eyes, and matches the flames beside her. What an unfortunate situation. "Fucking Uchiha," the woman spits angrily, flashing a tantou of her own, and will you look at that, it also matches the tantou of the corpse.

Tatara has always known that her temper is her weakness. Even her grandfather has called her out on this. She has her mother's short temper, the Elders frequently say. And perhaps, she does.

"You look like my mother," Tatara speaks to her enemy for the first time. She hates making small talks with people outside of The Clan despite her skill in it. It is something that she was taught to do, after all, considering it is part of having good manners and right conduct. And this is the first time Tatara has spoken to an enemy who she has the intention of killing. "In this darkness, you awfully look like her."

(And Tatara hates Tatsume.)

The battle ends, and Fugaku has Tekka on his back, Koichi stumbling by his side with a toothy grin stretching his lips. For a moment, Fugaku thinks everything is okay. When he finally sees the last member of his team, he sees her with her back turned. She is sitting on top of a woman, with her surroundings containing the scorch marks of a fire technique he knows she is skilled in using.

Everything is not okay, Fugaku thinks because when Tatara turns to face him, he sees the spinning red of the Sharingan, and he does not sleep that night.

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THE REDNESS OF THE MOON GLARES AT TAKOBU THROUGH THE PAINTING. It is a painting he received several decades ago, from when he had visited an acquaintance living in the Land of Iron where art is as abundant as war. The painting was sold to him in a much cheaper price, his friend saying, "It reminds me of your eyes." Takobu had thought that if his friend had seen any other Uchiha, she would have said the same thing too, but she had, and still, the painting went to his hands. "Your son, Tadoku-kun, has the same eyes as you. I wonder if your grandchild will have the same red as yours. I would love to paint that shade of red you possess," she had said, as if the Sharingan of an Uchiha have differing colors.

But artists have strange minds.

"Are you not surprised?" Hotaru muses from beside him, her mouth exhaling smoke with each word she says. Her kimono is as extravagant as always, having the need to make herself seem over the top because of her disabilities. Takobu may be older than the woman but he had witnessed her grow up. It was disgusting to watch such child. "The others were, needless to say. To think that your granddaughter would have the Sharingan."

Takobu huffs. "You did not need to be surprised," he answers bluntly, "her heritage gives her more—"

"Ah, of course," Hotaru interrupts, "I almost forgot about that part of Tatara. Tadoku and Tatsume were utter fools."

Surprisingly, Takobu does not give Hotaru an annoyed stare at her obvious disrespectful demeanor. On a normal day, he would have had commented on this, while adding scar to her burn—the lack of a fully functioning body. Hotaru may as well be disabled, considering everything. But today is not a normal day. Takobu is more silent than he usually is.

Hotaru stares at the painting as well, eyes focused solely on the glare of the moon. It is too red to be considered realistic, almost too dream-like to match her tastes. She spares a glance at the aged man beside her, pondering. "You do know of the rumors about that painting, Takobu-dono?" She inquires, more as a rhetorical question. When the man does not answer her, she simply continues. "The artist used blood to paint the moon, correct? And when it was given to you, you used this painting as a wedding gift for Tadoku and Tatsume, knowing how much Tadoku has a fascination with art. And—"

"Tatsume-san hated it," a voice suddenly says.

Smoke continues to filter in the room with each sigh Hotaru releases. "Fugaku-kun," she says, not bothering to fix the honorific she is using. She has always hated formalities like these, and Fugaku suddenly becoming the Clan Head will not stop her from preferring to please herself rather than others. "I assumed you would be attending to your son."

Fugaku enters the room, opting to stand beside Takobu, and like the other two, he stares at the painting, almost entraced. "His name is Itachi," he states simply, "and Mikoto insisted on staying with Tatara, considering what happened."

Hotaru scoffs. "Who would've taught that little Tatara was still so heavily affected by her mother?" She runs her finger through the edge of her smoke, easily eradicating the fire with a flicker of her chakra. "Does anybody still visit Tatsume? She will be lonely without any visitors."

"Mikoto and I visit her twice a month," Takobu huffs.

"And aside from you two?"

"Mikado," Fugaku answers, "he visited her whenever he had free time. He had always been—" He pauses in frustration. "What happened with Tatara is fortunate, however, she will still attend to the evaluations to make sure she is capable of participating in missions."

Takobu's eyes suddenly glow an angry red. Hotaru almost flinches, unused to seeing Takobu's Sharingan in full glory. It has been too long since she fought with the veteran, and seeing it like this has always gave her chills. The eyes of someone who survived the Sengoku Jidai—she clicks her tongue. "Your eyes are not for purposes like these, Takobu-dono," she hisses, "you are speaking to your Clan Head, and your fellow Elder."

"I am aware of that," Takobu replies, and lets the tomoe of his Sharingan spin, only adding to the intimidating more, "Tatara will not be going through any evaluations. Tadoku had not gone through such, and neither did the women of the Sengoku Jidai. It will be part of her growth. Tatara will be able to take missions in two days."

Fugaku simply stares back to the man's Sharingan, unflinching, letting it bare through his system. He knows there will be nothing to convince Takobu otherwise. He is far too stubborn to listen to anyone, too caged in that mindset of his. Perhaps he cannot do anything to push Tatara to go through the evaluations, and perhaps there is nothing he can do to address the situation that needed to be fixed as soon as possible. But Fugaku is still Uchiha Tatara's Jounin Instructor.

"Do not mock my granddaughter. She is not weak."

(That night, Fugaku sits beside Tatara's futon, knees in seiza position for too many hours to count. He does not move from his spot, and instead, lets the warmth of his chakra embrace the room. When Tatara wakes up the next day, all she sees is a pillow beside her futon, unusually warm, and familiar. She pretends to not feel Fugaku's chakra lingering on her back when she greets Takobu in the morning. She does not tell anyone how for once, she does not feel lonely.)

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"MY UNCLE HAD A FEVER FOR A STRAIGHT WEEK AFTER HE GOT HIS SHARINGAN," Tekka says out of the blue, watching Tatara's steps stumble every few seconds, "and for me, I had suffered from severe chakra exhaustion. My eyes had to adjust with the sudden flow of chakra directed to it. So trust me, that is very normal, Tatara."

The glare that Tatara sends Tekka seems to convey what she has to say about that. It is true that there are many instances when an Uchiha gets sick when they develop their Sharingan, and even more instances when they spend more than a week in bedrest due to the sudden change in not only the chakra flow but also the sudden adjustment of their eyesight whenever using the Sharingan. Many Uchiha find themselves emptying their stomachs during their first few uses of the Sharingan, and some even get massive nosebleeds It takes time to get used to the Sharingan, and it gets harder and harder when you develop it in a later age. Tekka developed his when he was six years old, and his said uncle developed it when he was eight. Tatara hears that Fugaku had his when he first went to the battlefield, and Tatara is not entirely sure if the rumors refer to the first time his father brought him to the field as a child, or when he became a shinobi. It is a tradition for wartime children to be introduced to the battlefield before they enter the Academy, just to see what they are about to be going into. Tatara had the same experience.

Takobu, however, developed his when he was much younger. A lot younger than most people Tatara knows. Takobu earned his Sharingan a few weeks before he turned four years old—Hotaru had heen the one to relay this information, saying she heard it from her own etiquette teacher when she was in her youth. It was an ambush, apparently. Senju men came out of nowhere and there did Takobu receive his first kill; a dying Senju desperately crawling to his side as he froze on his spot, holding a kunai that every child had. His first kill was nothing impressive, considering that the Senju had already been on the verge of death, but he went home with red eyes, and that was all that mattered.

"I heard from an upperclassman that there was an Uchiha who had severe diarrhea after getting his Sharingan," Koichi chimes in, helping Tatara up. He is promptly glared at by the younger girl, which he responds with a toothy grin. "What? I'm just helping you, you know. You're like—" He snorts. "—a drunkard, or something. That's really weird. Wait, do Uchihas get drunk?"

Tekka sighs, opting to keep his weapons, seeing that today's training will not be as productive as he thought it would be. "First of all, there was no case of an Uchiha getting severe diarrhea after getting his Sharingan," he says, assisting Tatara with her wobbly balance. He is still not used seeing such red eyes on Tatara. (He does not let her eyes meet his, this much Tatara has noticed, and she ignores it.) "And second of all, yes, Uchihas get drunk."

Koichi scratches the side of his cheek. "Eh. I really should've expected that Obito-san would make that up," he mumbles, "but what does a drunk Uchiha look like? I've never seen one."

Tatara elbows Koichi straight to the stomach, causing the boy to immediately let go of her. "What does a drunk Yamanaka look like?" She questions back.

"Tha—that hurt," Koichi whines, "but—uh, I guess the same as everyone? Why would that be any different?"

"Then you answered your own question." Tatara huffs.

Koichi snorts. "What? You're okay now, or something?"

"Yes."

Tekka sighs, pulling Koichi up. He simply watches as the Yamanaka runs up to Tatara once again, grinning from ear to ear, talking about how she is acting like a drunk. He does not say anything even when he notices how Koichi tends to stare at Tatara longer than necessary. He bites the inside of his cheek, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Maybe? He thinks.

Before he can move once again to scold Tatara for elbowing Koichi on his stomach for the seventh time, he immediately stops when a hand is placed on his shoulder. He jumps before planting a hand on his face. "Please do not surprise me like that, sensei," he whispers.

"Hn. Report."

Tekka straightens his back on cue. "Tatara is still having trouble using her Sharingan, despite having two tomoes already on both eyes. I estimate that this will last for another three to four days, considering what her age and genetics imply. Koichi is also catching up faster than I expected. He is very skilled in his specialty, and has recently taken up bukijutsu too. Among the three of us, Koichi is the one with the most improvement thus far, sensei," he explains, "and, he still hasn't mentioned to anyone about T&I's offer. I think he's planning on delaying it as much as possible."

Fugaku nods, letting silence pressure Tekka. He watches Koichi get almost burned down to the ground by a fireball from Tatara, noting his eerily faster reflexes. He supposes it is from the battles they have gone through during their missions. Koichi used to be the slowest among the three, and perhaps, he still is but his improvement is undeniable. "What do you think about this, Tekka?" He asks once again.

As expected, Tekka's eyes turn to the ground. "Whatever Koichi decides is for his own good," he answers, "but Tatara will no doubt blow up on him soon. She does not like it when people hide information from her but—but I've thought that since a few weeks ago, and she does not seem to be blowing up on him anytime soon. She's become... more mature, I suppose."

"I see." Fugaku reaches out to ruffle Tekka's hair, only then realizing how closely related they are to one another. Maybe that is one of the reasons why he was put to this team in the first place. They expect Tekka to become like him, perhaps become the next Chief of the Uchiha Police Force. Both The Uchiha Clan and Konoha seem to not want him controlling The Clan and the Police Force at the same time. Thinking about it makes him sick to his stomach. But if it is Tekka who is going to succeed him, then maybe he does not mind. "You are doing a good job, Tekka."

Neither of them says anything about the way Tekka's cheeks had turned red. He simply lowers his head. "Thank you, Fugaku-sensei," he says sincerely.

For now, this is enough.

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(1) it's been 27392729832 years since i last updated, and this is a rather crappy update but here it is. i forgot how much i enjoyed this team's interactions, especially koichi. i honestly love koichi so much. tekka too. and fugaku. this team makes me happy. and i really love writing hotaru and takobu's interactions. you just know that hotaru is waiting for takobu to get pissed off at her and kick her out, but takobu is too much of a wise hawk. but it seems that he got irked at fugaku. lmao. i love uchiha drama.

so anyway, the next chapter will feature more missions, and ooh, lots of canon characters are gonna appear from here and onwards. i'm talking about maito gai, more uchiha obito, shisui, mikoto, baby itachi, and of course, non-konoha characters. see you in a few days because this quarantine's got me writing.