weeks turned to months and months had gone by but jaehyun still doesn't know that jungwoo knows. he hasn't told jungwoo anything and the secret was buried deep in is thoughts only johnny could talk to him about. he didn't plan on telling jungwoo anything and that's how bad he wanted to leave his life for taeyong in a snap.

jaehyun was wrong. he's been wrong for years. it was wrong of him to give taeyong an ultimatum, to make taeyong choose, it was wrong of him to not trust and support taeyong in their relationship. now, he's getting married and he's been drowning in deep regrets eversince.

jungwoo will be a good husband. but he's just not the one.

why does he think jungwoo wasn't that good in bed? because taeyong was on his mind. and why was taeyong on his mind all the time? because he felt sorry for how he acted in the past.

would people think he's still hung up on taeyong after all these years of having jungwoo? to people's perspective, that would mean a yes. for some, it could be a no. it felt like as if a lifetime was passing by when he dated jungwoo.

when he broke up with taeyong, he admitted to himself he was using jungwoo as a rebound. turns out, he forgot that he was using jungwoo which lead him to marrying him now.

in layman's terms, the rebound worked. taeyong was out of his mind and he was replaced by jungwoo.

he felt like jungwoo is now the one. it felt like it.

and now, he looked at himself in the mirror--judging his own self. is this it? he asks. am i making the right decision? there was no answer to that. or maybe there was, he just doesn't know what it is.

the stylist carefully applied make up for retouches, suit was being straightened out, they were very careful with him and treated him like he was the next groom of the century. he looked heavenly. his face was out of this world.

when people look at him, it's like he's the most perfect person that everything around him was beautiful, that all is good.

but it's not good. it will never be now. someday he hoped.

this face. he thought looking at himself intently. this body. inside his head everything was the opposite. everything is not good, everything is not beautiful. it was horrible. this man. he should be cursed. he should be punished till he drops.

he was downright mad. not to anyone but himself. he was so mad at himself he could cry right now. his face doesn't show it but he eyes were filled with hatred--they were burning.

a burst through the door broke his long long train of thoughts. "whoa! jungwoo, you're not supposed to be here. ten's gonna murder you." johnny stood up and chuckled trying to get in his way just to not see the other groom.

"johnny, please... spare me the bullshit right now, i need to talk to jaehyun." he said sternly, face expressionless.

johnny looked back to see jaehyun then back at jungwoo. in defeat, he sighed and rolled his eyes with a playful smile bringing the rest of the stylists with him out the door. "alright, i'll try to keep ten out."

when they were gone, jungwoo stepped closer and looked at his fiance's eyes. if jaehyun's eyes were filled with anger, his own was filled with despair and probably regret of what he was about to do.

"jaehyun, i know." he said.

the man only looked at him with confusion that only his eyes spoke. "i know what happened. taeyong told me the truth."

inside jaehyun, he was surprised to hear what his fiance just said. but a part of him actually expected the half of it. it's definitely going to come bit him in the ass, he just didn't know it'd be this soon.

now he felt sorry. seeing jungwoo's face, he felt sorry. he finally thought what jungwoo had been through trying to keep it to himself. now, i understand taeyong. he thought. he finally gets the feeling, he finally acknowledged being a huge asshole. this is really what taeyong meant when he said jungwoo doesn't deserve us.

and all he could feel was guilt swallowing him up.

jungwoo only looked at him in a way jaehyun couldn't. but after all that's happened, jungwoo still tried to understand. all he really wanted to know was, "why?"

a moment of silence covered the atmosphere around them. but then, only jungwoo had the gut to talk. "jaehyun, why?"

"... didn't you tell me you weren't over taeyong yet?" he asked with his breath shaky. "i really had to force johnny to tell me just so i could understand even just the slightest bit, but jae--i still can't."

"i don't understand how you could do this to me. jaehyun, i gave you everything, didn't i?" and now his tears came crashing one by one. "i thought you were happy with me."

"jaehyun, how could you do this?"

pain laced in his voice--it cracked, it came out as a squeak. jaehyun now realized the hurt, the ache, the tormenting. right now he thinks he doesn't deserve anything in this world. "jungwoo, i'm sorry." was all he could say.

jaehyun couldn't even handle the throbbing pain between the bridge of his nose as he let out his tears along with jungwoo's. and then they both cried silently. he walked closer and felt the need to give his boyfriend a hug. as jungwoo accepted, he held onto him tight as if it was going to be the last time he sees his lover. "i--" jungwoo panted lightly and pulled away holding his arm. "i just need to ask you one thing."

jaehyun looked at him in the eye for the first time and waited for what was about to come. "do you still love me?"

a dreaded question. he doesn't want to answer. "jaehyun, please tell me the truth."

and he gave him the truth. "i don't know anymore, jungwoo."

the other's eyes released even more tears silently looking at his lover. soon, he won't be his lover. it's going to be over.

"i don't think there's any way i'm doing this wedding now."

the man gasped and tried to hold his arm. "ju--"

"jaehyun, i can't." jungwoo sighed looking down. for the first time, he finally stood up to jaehyun. he was really gonna do this. "i just can't, jaehyun. i'm sorry." he said.

"you don't even know if you still love. i can't marry you like this. and i don't think i ever will." he finally let go of the arm that tried to held him. "jaehyun, i understand. it's always been taeyong."

"jungwoo, i'm sorry. you did nothing to deserve this." jaehyun cried. "it's okay. i told you, i understand. but if you really care for me..."

he stopped. he made jaehyun look at him straight in the eyes without breaking the contact. he held his face a quivered. "please let me go."

by now, jaehyun wasn't sure what to feel, what to do, how to even react. what was he gonna do? was going to abide? was he going to keep going for jungwoo? because the minute they step away from this engagement, their friends will lose it. and jaehyun knows there was possibly no way ten would let this pass just because he hurt jungwoo in the most painful way.

"let go of us and find taeyong."

was jungwoo really encouraging him to go after his ex? was jungwoo really this understanding about everything? i just let go of a very wonderful man.

"but what about you?" he asked.

"i will be okay, jaehyun. i'm going to fly away and heal away from it all. it's going to take time, but i promise you i will make it."

jungwoo wiped his tears and forced a smile. "go jaehyun. go find the love of your life." he whispered staying close to his face.

jaehyun could only give him a hug. a hug so tight for everything good he's given him. for everything good they've been through. and for everything jungwoo has done for him. indeed, jungwoo is an angel--like taeyong said.

but jaehyun's just not the one for him.

before he was out the door, he looked back to the man he's hurt for more than a few times--the man he's hurt now. "you're an angel." he said.

jungwoo smiled genuinely. "i hope you find your bliss."

and jungwoo was left. in the room full of wedding stuff. the last memory he's ever gonna have of jaehyun before he can finally face him.

and then he cried. on his knees. enduring the long-tolerated pain in his chest. and he let everything out until he can't anymore.

(A/N: no song, no lyrics, this is a one scene thing lol)