the next day, taeyong was weary. he got up early to follow jaehyun in the cafe. he hid behind cars just to see what jaehyun was doing.

he felt more disappointed when a woman, not too young but looked rich, entered the cafe. she spoke to the cashier lady and called someone from the kitchen. expectedly, jaehyun came out.

taeyong didn't want to see the scene in front of him any longer and so he took off. he went to the club early and passed his time in. he didn't do anything, and now a whole days has passed and he just sat on a couch in their dressing room alone and sad. not too long before the employees came in through the door. he paid no attention and continued spacing out.

following jaehyun was a brief move. he just wanted to see how the man was doing and what the man was up to ever since he heard what he was saying from the other side of his wall. but it frustrated taeyong that he can't do anything about it. all he can do was follow jaehyun and suspect something. it wasn't like he was really going to do anything.

they weren't an item, in the first place.

they had no relation, whatsoever.

it was just sex for jaehyun.

taeyong heaved out a long deep sigh as he stood up from the couch. he's been watching the batch of strippers change and look pretty in front of the mirror for so long now. he was just the same as them, yet it annoyed him so much.

i'm a stripper, too. he thought. and suddenly, he frowned at that thought alone. did he not want me because i'm just a stripper?

his heart broke just thinking about it. it's not too impossible people would leave him for that reason. a few other guys already dumped him because of it. as it turns out, they just wanted the sex. but after a couple of months, they treat him like total garbage. maybe jaehyun's just like that too.

yeah, that's probably why he's meeting a woman in the cafe at this day. it's only been a few days since they did the deed. jaehyun would get rid of him too quick if that's what he thought.

jaehyun met a woman, today. he said inside his head as if he's writing his diary. one of the things taeyong didn't like was being compared to a woman. sure, he acts like a woman on stage, around different drunk men, but he didn't ever wanted to be seen compared to one.

and although no one really compared him to one, since he's gay, he did the comparison himself--inside his head. it's what he hated the most. making stuff up on his own, that ends up hurting himself at the very end. and so he loses, everytime.

taeyong knows he's no match to a woman--any woman possible. because he didn't have boobs, he doesn't have a vagina, he can't bear a child. he has nothing a man can wish for, aside from sex. he was nothing compared to a woman who can give a man anything in return.

he can love. he's been giving out love for years. but once the man he dates suddenly wanted something he can't give, they proceed to throw him out like candy wrapper. sweet to eat, but once done, it's just trash.

he felt like crying. he didn't want this. it had just been a few weeks since they met. why was this happening to him now? maybe because he gets attached too easily. he sees the attraction that connects him to the person. he found jaehyun different from the men he previously dated.

but this isn't love yet for him. right?

or is it?

"taeyong! i've been looking for you everywhere." a familiar voice suddenly cut him off of his train of deep thoughts. "why are you here? we're not the strippers tonight."

there, taeyong remembered he just stood at a corner watching how the strippers got ready for the night. he didn't realize it's been hours since he tried to hide inside the dressing room. it's night now, that's why there were strippers getting ready around him.

he dropped his things and proceeded to change clothes to serve and wait tables.

when taeyong got home, he was alone. he chose to walk home by himself much earlier than his usual out with his friends. when he reached his room, a sudden pang was felt on his chest. and suddenly, he felt like crying.

i haven't thought of jaehyun all night. he thought. is this how it feels? he stared at his bed, empty and clean. it's the usual bed he's been sleeping on for years, yet he didn't want to lay down on that same bed. the furniture, cabinets, tables, mirror, it's all the same. he's been so used to everything that it didn't bring the old glow it used to.

he loved places like this. the way he arranged his own things, he used to like seeing it.

until he realized, it's getting boring.

his whole life was boring. he's been so used to all of it for years that it suddenly got boring. at some point in life, he was going to realize that. he's been living in this same life 24 hours a day and he can no longer find the excitement. sure, he's okay with being a stripper as a job but jaehyun came.

jaehyun came and his life was bright again. he tried to forget the man for at least half of the night and this is what he feels. just imagining jaehyun not existing, he felt the indifference. there was going to be constant lack of interest in everything. he would wake up in the afternoon to get ready for work, wait tables all night, strip nude for the crowd and come back home to sleep.

was he really going to do this for a lifetime?

he wasn't. because jaehyun came. or so he thought he could change but being a stripper's what made him pay the bills.

his family accepted that years ago and he's happy. but at some point, it's always going to be dull. once you feel it, it won't go away. surely, taeyong felt like that now.

he dropped his bag on the side and laid down the mattress. quietly, he let a few tears escape. they slowly got out and quickly descended running down his temples.

suddenly, everything around him became bland. there's no excitement anymore. he just felt so drained out of everything.

it wasn't long until he heard a knock from his door. his bedroom door. it seemed like one of his friends so he just curled up and turned his back from the door. without question, his friends would burst through the door and he just couldn't care at the moment.

and yes, as expected, they did open the door. there was a total of 3 people who entered the room. they figured their friend was lonely so they decided to cut their shift short when they saw taeyong leave the club so early.

they quietly walked over to taeyong's bed and sat down. the smell of chicken was lingering through the atmosphere and taeyong smiled softly at the least.

"we brought you chicken." ten said softly as he brushed through taeyong's dyed hair.

but taeyong didn't budge and instead, he pulled the covers up his head and grabbed his plush toy to cuddle with. the rest of his friends sighed and tried to pull off the covers from him forcefully.

"come on, tae." ten pulled his arms to get him to sit up.

once taeyong was against the headboard, sicheng opened up the pack of chicken. "is this about jaehyun?"

since taeyong wouldn't speak up, the just rubbed their temples. "don't tell me you're falling in love with him?"

taeyong looked up shyly at ten and kept his head low. ten huffed out loud and brushed his face with his palms.

"taeyong, it's been a few weeks!"

"i don't know what i feel, okay?! i just feel it." taeyong ended up bursting his thoughts. he grabbed the pillow and buried his head in it. he obviously didn't wanna talk at the moment but he didn't wanna leave his friends in the dark.

"you really did, did you?" sicheng asked from beside the bed. "god taeyong."

it's what they've been fearing for taeyong. all of his friends never wanted for him to fall for someone new again. considering his past boyfriends who were complete utter shit to him, they swore to not let taeyong get attached to anyone. clearly, they weren't doing a very good job.

taeyong already fell and they all watched him do it. even bet money along with it.

"why are you like this?"

everyone suddenly stopped as it was asked. eyes were piercing right through taeyong who they waited to respond. "i don't know why i'm like this."

soft sobs were heard. he was already tearing up. and they all know what was the cause behind it.

"i just had sex, then i was attached the next second." he added.

a sigh escaped ten's lips as he looked away. he couldn't bear seeing his best friend cry, but on top of that, he couldn't bear seeing his best friend be anymore stupid. it wasn't taeyong's fault and everyone knew it. they just don't understand why it happens.

"were we wrong to bet on you while you fell and we watched you do it? do you hate us for that?"

and taeyong shook his head no.

"yes it was! you don't hate us for it but we still did it. it was wrong and i want to apologize, but taeyong..." he sighed once more before continuing. "why? why jaehyun? he left and i don't think he's coming back."

silence filled the room as they heard taeyong's soft cries. he sniffed through the pillow and let his tears fall one by one continuously.

"i don't understand... how it's only a short amount of time, and yet, you fell. now you're weeping because he told you it's only sex. you fall fast, taeyong. and that's dangerous."

"damn right it's dangerous!" ten cutted off. "taeyong you just met this guy! even without us, you know it's too soon. it's too soon to fall in love. you just got passed moving on stage from your last boyfriend and here you go again!"

"that's what's wrong with you! you get attached so easily!" ten continued to yell.

and through his best friend's yells, he broke down into even more tears.