a week with the sudden change and sungchan have been weirded out by his brother's actions. he expected his hyung to be as sad as him but he guessed that he's just trying to stay strong for him.

in the older's mind, he hoped his plan would work. he had no idea how far this could go but he prayed to all the gods that everything could fall back into place.

with everything that happened to them, he still wasn't sure if this is how it's supposed to be. he was pretty sure his papa didn't want this to happen either but he just couldn't guess what could be the main reason why their papa would send them away.

he's starting to miss his twin. he knows it's only been a few months but he grew so fond of him like they were connected by a string from the very beginning.

eitherway, he has his twin's number and he has yet to try if it works. he even forgot that he has a phone.

on the other side of the room, sungchan decided to go out and have a glass of milk. he couldn't sleep. once he was out the door, he started pacing down the hall and passed by his papa's room. the door was ajar and he spotted a familiar book by his night stand.

oh he's one stubborn boy. it didn't seem like his papa was anywhere around. he walked over to the book and there was a pink ribbon bookmark. he opened it to where the bookmark lies.

why is the bookmark still here? i've seen this page before.

the day he did see it, he didn't have time to read it. he was caught by his papa and he never got the chance to know what was written in that same page. now, he recognized the page as it had tear stains and the name 'jaehyun' was repeated several times.

suddenly, he heard footsteps walking down the hall and voices that obviously came from his papa and uncle ten. 

"i'm still glad you followed your heart, taeyongie." his uncle ten said.

"if i continued what we had, i'm just gonna hurt him. doyoung understands, right?"

"totally. he's knows how much you still love jaehyun. you've been his friend for a long time. you and i both know he's a very understanding person."

sungchan took the journal and hid it inside his shirt. he tried to find somewhere to hide but before he can, the door opened and two men came in with confused look on their faces.

"sungchanie, what are you doing here?" his papa asked. he tried to walk over to his son and give him a hug but sungchan refused and said, "i was looking for you, can't sleep."

"aw, you want me to make you your milk?" his papa asked and the little boy just nodded.

taeyong thought that sungchan shouldn't be left alone in here considering the mess he made that sungchan could snoop in with. "why don't you go back to your room and i'll bring you your milk in a few minutes, hmm?"

the little boy only nodded again and proceeded to walk slowly out of the room. "ten, will you please take him to the room?" the two boys walked out of the room and taeyong went back to the kitchen.

when sungchan was left by ten in their room, he took the journal out of his shirt which was a pain to actually hide. he called on his brother who was busy texting. "hyung, look what i got!"

the big brother looked over his shoulder and saw a book that his brother held. awfully looked familiar. "what do you have there?" he asked.

"it's papa's journal. let's see what's new in here." sungchan said as he continued to flip the pages. there was a photo on the bookmarked page which had repeated names of their father. he was going to start reading until his brother pulled the book out of his grasp.

"hey!" his brother closed the book and draw it away from him. "sungchan, you're not supposed to be looking through other people's private things."

"but i wanna see!!" sungchan whined. "you can't."

"oh and you can?"

"no, i also can't and i won't." 

"please hyung, we used to snoop in with papa's stuff all the time before!" the little one continued whining. his brother has completely changed, he thinks. he wasn't used to the new brother after camp was over, and now that his other brother is back, he's been acting weird and he's still not used to him.

"sungchanie, you have to understand that some other things are really private. they are called private things because they are not supposed to be seen by other people. it's called privacy for a reason, you know."

"ugh, you sound like mark hyung!"

sungchan was about to throw another tantrum when the door was knocked on. his big brother quickly pulled the journal away in one swift move and threw it under the bed in a flash.

"sungchanie, i have your milk." the older brother scattered the legos around to make it seem like they were playing.

when their papa came in, he placed the milk on the youngest's night stand. "i thought i told you to keep those away, it's time for bed."

the two brothers could recognize the puff around their papa's eyes. it's almost wearing out but they're not that stupid to ignore the fact that their papa has been crying. the usual hyperactivity of the two has been toned down now that they could observe how gloomy their papa has become. 

taeyong sat down with the two and helped his eldest to finish cleaning up the legos. "what do you think about going to the mall tomorrow?"

the two brothers looked at each other. they've been going to the mall almost everyday for the past week. it was obvious how their papa was trying to cope.

"actually papa, we were thinking about staying in tomorrow. we've been going out a lot lately."

taeyong stopped to think and look at both his sons before closing the box for toys. "oh that's alright, sweetheart. do you perhaps want to order in? we can have a movie marathon all day? or play with your playstation?"

their papa has been acting unusual now. for one, he didn't like ordering in because he always wanted to cook for his children. but now for the past week, he hasn't been cooking at all. he had deliberately asked the maids to cook entirely for all three meals in a day. sometimes he would take the children to eat out. it was as if he had no energy to do anything besides being with his children.

if there was one thing taeyong does to be able to cope in such tragic moments, it was to be with his children. they were his safe place, the only thing that keeps him sane at times of existential crisis.

the kids can tell how horrible their papa has been feeling now. taeyong wouldn't even let them out of his sight the day before. it has now been an entirely dreadful situation for them.

"papa, i was thinking of cooking." the youngest said with hope.

"cooking?" taeyong tilted his head. "yeah. we thought maybe we can spend the day tomorrow with cooking. maybe you could teach us how to work around the kitchen."

taeyong sighed. he had a hint of what his boys were trying to say. he realized that he's been too careless, maybe it's just right he should start to get back on his feet slowly. first step would be bonding with the kids in the kitchen.

"okay, my loves. let's have fun in the kitchen tomorrow. i'm gonna teach how to cook your own favorites."

by the time sungchan finished his milk, taeyong stayed in with them for a little while as they started to feel the drowsiness slowly coming in. when the two were finally asleep, taeyong proceeded to kiss younger's temples softly before going to older one.

he can feel the frustration the two were going through because of the whole arrangement with jaehyun and the long lost twin. he badly wanted to fix the mess they were in but the whole talk with jaehyun made him realize that maybe they weren't in for a happy ending after all. it's all gonna be about their children now. there was no more room for them.

he just though that the risk is too big. it's their children's happiness that was on the line. if we give it another try and it wouldn't work out, we would have three suffering children. he thinks.

he gave his older little boy a kiss on the temple before caressing his little face. "i'm sorry you had to experience this, my baby. papa will do better, i promise." he took his small hands and gave it another kiss before heading out.